Home > 40 Days > Day 2 – You Are Not an Accident

Day 2 – You Are Not an Accident

Point to Ponder: I am not an accident

Verse to Remember: “I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born.”  Isaiah 44:2 (CEV)

Question to Consider: I know that God uniquely created me. What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?



 

This isn’t an easy question for me to answer, especially publicly. I think the main area that I struggle with most is in the area of my masculinity. I’m not the world’s most macho man and any of you that really know me can attest to that. I was never into sports or athletics or any of the stuff that “guys” are supposed to be into. I wanted to do arts and crafts, I loved to sing and dance and I had a flair for the dramatic side of things. I’m a sensitive and emotional person and I was the kid that cried when another kid caught picked on. I was the kid who was friends with the kid who had no friends because I felt bad for them. In the younger years of school this didn’t matter so much. I think kids just didn’t care as much. But as the years went on I began getting picked on because of this. I was called gay and all the other fun words that go along with it. I didn’t fit in at school and I didn’t fit in at church youth groups. Even now, years later, I’m married and have a family of my own, people still assume that I’m gay and it hurts me. When you are called/told a lie often enough it starts to wear on you to the point that you start to doubt yourself and who God created you to be. And why He created the way that you are.

This part of my life is one of the biggest struggles I have with who I am. I’ve gone to God with it countless times and it never seems to change. I hate this part of me, it is an area that causes me such pain and heartache. I have had people pray for me and with me and my prayers seem to go unanswered. I don’t know why God created me this way. I know I’m supposed to trust that He has a plan and a purpose for creating me the way that I am. I just wish I knew why and could come to terms with it and accept it.

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  1. Ryan
    January 28, 2011 at 11:30 am

    throwing this out there… what if the enemy (see ephesians 6:12) has been whispering in your ear this whole time.. that would explain the nagging never ending thoughts and struggles.. the reason why prayer hasnt worked is because its not between you and God.. its between you and the enemy. The authourity of the believer hasnt been taught much in the church even though Jesus did and said alot concerning it. God has made you perfect in His sight, and has given you all the gifts you think and KNOW you have.. the devil would seek to corrupt it. (1 Peter 5:8)

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