Frustration

Frus-tra-tion: noun

  • The act of frustrating or an instance of being frustrated
  • The state of being frustrated

Frus-trate: verb

  • to make (plans, efforts, etc.) worthless or of no avail; defeat; nullify
  • to disappoint or thwart

My post The Journey Continues was my first post in sometime and I think for some it came across as a bit of shock for some. And, I think it may have been misunderstood and I probably should have posted my post Burning With Desire as a buffer post.

If I had to describe what I’m living and feeling lately it’s frustration.

I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated that things aren’t going as I would like them. I’m frustrated that I can’t see what the future holds for me.

I’m frustrated that I can’t get answers to my questions, the questions that really only God can answer. I’m frustrated that I’m living this life and that I’m not living it the fullest of my potential. I’m frustrated that I don’t know how to make things happen.

I’m frustrated because my Christian upbringing tells me that I need to draw nearer to God and that’s just not possible. I’m frustrated because as honest as I am, I’m not honest at all. I’m frustrated because I want to accept God at face value, but I can’t.

I’m frustrated because I have a dream that I don’t know how to fulfill. I’m frustrated because I want live life freely, but I care too much about what others will think.

I’m not going for a pity party here. I’m just venting. That’s what writing is for me. It’s a way for me to vent and get it all out there on the table without interruption. Without someone cutting me off and trying to solve or fix me.

Writing it therapeutic for me to a degree. Although, I have to say that I’m not any less frustrated right now, but at least it’s out there.

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  1. September 13, 2013 at 7:49 am

    I saw your post in Internet Monk. This is where I am, too.

    “That’s what writing is for me. It’s a way for me to vent and get it all out there on the table without interruption. Without someone cutting me off and trying to solve or fix me.”

    EXACTLY.

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