Christian or Hypocrite?

I started writing parts of this post a while back and put it aside and wasn’t really sure if I was going to post it or not. But the other day I was out with some friends and we were talking about Church, Christianity and the world as a whole. It’s really quite interesting what kind of conversations you have with a diverse group of people at a table, church going Christians, agnostics and “backslidden Christians”.

During the course of the evening we started talking about God and the church. I mentioned that I haven’t called myself a Christian in a number of years because I wasn’t living a life that in my eyes, and in the eyes of many I’m sure, would measure up to what a Christian should be. For a number of years I had been one of those who went to church on Sunday but led a life that wasn’t much different from non-Christian’s life. To me calling myself a Christian seems all just a bit hypocritical and especially in the last year or so as I haven’t been going to church at all.

This has got me thinking, “what separates Christians from non-Christians in this generation?”  It seems that in today’s generation we have become a lot more tolerant of things that use to be considered wrong and even sinful. We look at some of these behaviours and justify them to ourselves and reason why they aren’t wrong anymore. I’m not trying to get all preachy and try to bring conviction on people, but really where and how does today’s generation of Christians stand out. I know not all of my generation, and the generation below me, live this lifestyle but it seems as though the number of them that do is greater than it used to be.

As a kid growing up I learned the Sunday school song “This Little Light of Mine” and I’m sure many of you learned it as well. There are a few different passages of scripture that this song’s origins may have come from, but they all say the same thing, let your light shine so that the world can see the light of God in you. I think that for far too long many of us have hidden our lights under a bushel in order to fit in. I’m just as guilty as the next person on this one. But the truth the Bible tells us that we even though we are in the world we shouldn’t be part of the world. The reality of it is; it’s just way easier to hide in the dark than to be a city on hill.

It’s funny, when I start a post I try to have some idea as to what I’m going to say and how I want to lay things out. But this one is different. I know I said earlier that I’m not going to get preachy and all that and really that’s not who I am. But I need to hear this as much as others to do and so I’m just typing what I feel needs to be said. Our generation, both the churched and un-churched, is lost and is looking for truth and is looking for something real to hold onto. And, unfortunately the errors, sins and indiscretions of the church have caused many of our generation to turn away from God and from truth.  Well the simple truth of the matter is that, while we sit there and allow our lights to be hidden under a bushel and we justify why the things we are doing aren’t “really” sinful or wrong, our generation is dying and going to hell. At least that’s what we believe as Christians, right? No man can enter the Kingdom of Heaven but through Jesus Christ. How is our generation going to hear if we don’t tell them? How is our generation going to believe that there is more to God unless we walk-the-walk and talk-the-talk? Yes, we need to be real with them. Yes, we need to reach them where they are at. Yes, we need to go where they are. But we also need to stand apart from them.

Yes, Jesus spent his time with the outcasts of society. He spent time with the prostitutes, the lepers and in the areas that the religious of the time wouldn’t go, but he didn’t partake. He went there with love and compassion and showed them the way, but was set apart from them. We need to set ourselves apart from the non-Christians so that we can show them light and bring them into fellowship and communion with the God who made them and loves them.

So, if you are still with me on this one, I’m not going to say sorry for my ‘rant’. I wrote it for a reason. I needed to hear, and I need make a change. But I’m not the only one that needs to hear this and make and change. I know it’s not going to be easy, and I may not succeed all the time, but I’m on a journey and it’s been a tough one with a lot of ups and downs, but I’m going to keep going until my journey ends.

Ask yourself, what separates you from a non-Christian? And, is the light of God shining as brightly in you as is could and should be?

Sin, What’s Your Label?

What is sin?

Here’s what dictionary.com says:

Noun

1. transgression of divine law: the sin of Adam.

2. any act regarded as such a transgression, esp. a willful or deliberate violation of some religious or moral principle.

3. any reprehensible or regrettable action, behavior, lapse, etc.; great fault or offense: It’s a sin to waste time.

According to the bible sin is what separates us from God. And as the first definition states it all originated from Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. In the eyes of God all sin is equal and “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 2:23). I’m sure that I’m not stating anything new here or anything that any Christian would disagree with.

On my journey, I’ve had many debates with people about sin and the church. I’ve found people who are willing to “blur” the lines on things in order to make life “simpler” for them, yet draw a hard-line on other things. I’ve also talked with people who draw a hard-line on certain sins and make no exceptions about people who struggle with these sins, yet make acceptions for other sins that they see as more tolerable or acceptable. I’m no different I’m sure and by no means am I trying point out the spec in my brother or sister’s eye, I’m simply trying to make a point, and that is that sin is sin in the eyes of God. There are no bigger or lesser sins, they all separate us from God. I truly believe that if we as Christians can accept this and try to live by this principle we can make a greater impact in this world. If we just accepted all people for who they are, children of God separated from Him by sin, maybe, just maybe, we could reach out to people who for the most part feel judged and shamed by the church and God.

Imagine if we looked at the alcoholic, the homosexual, the murderer, the prostitute, the rapist the same way we looked at the person who lies or cheats. I mean I know that I’ve lied and cheated at one point or another in my life. I’m just as sinful as they are. Imagine if we just accepted them for who they are, no strings attached, no saying “we love you, but we hate your sin.” We just accepted them. Loved them. And treated them the way that we treated our fellow brother and sister in the Lord. What kind of impact could we have? Jesus reached out to those who were the outcasts. Shouldn’t the church of today as well? In the same way that they say you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar we can reach more people with love and acceptance than we can by say your sin is unacceptable.

I’m not saying that we ignore the sin, but lets not make it the main focus of who people are. Last time I was in church there was no one there wearing labels identifying them by their sins. We are all God’s children saved by grace.

Church… Not Right Now Thanks

Having grown up in the church I’m still often surrounded by Christians. Some have known me for years and have seen me “minister” in the church and others who have only known the person that is writing this blog. For the most part it doesn’t seem to matter who they are, if they are Christians they don’t seem to understand why I’m not going to church or involved in the church.  Some want to know my reasons and what has caused me to “write-off” God and the church. I want to stress that I haven’t written God off or the church for that fact. I still think that I believe in God, just not sure I completely get the “Christian God”. (Note, that I put that in quotes because I don’t want to offend people, so please just move on and keep reading this post and posts to come, and maybe you’ll understand me better.)

I guess there are a number of reasons that I’m not in “church” right now. One of the main reasons is that over the years the church and its members have been the cause of great hurt and pain in my life, Pastors and layman alike. Yes, I know that they are just human being and that they aren’t perfect, but it just gets repetitive. I think that at this stage there is significant scar tissue around my “soul” and I’m just not ready to get back in and have it cut open again. Now, normally at this point is where the good Christian will tell me that I need to let go forgive and get back in there so God can heal the hurt and take away the scar tissue and I can be made whole. My response to that, “been there, done that, got my t-shirt signed and oh yeah, it happened again.” How’s that saying go “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.” I’ll admit it, I’m a wounded person, but aren’t we all in some way or another? I guess I’m just sick and tired of being wounded, getting better and being wounded again.

They say hurt people hurt others out of their own hurt. Well, I hope that I haven’t hurt anyone in the church in my day although I’m sure I have. I do know that at this point in my journey that whenever I do step foot into a church I become someone who I don’t necessarily like. I become judgemental (how’s that for honesty). I judge people and I look at them and scrutinize the way they worship and pray. I wonder to myself how much of what they are doing is real and how much of it is for show. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to judge people and be so pessimistic, but it’s where I’m at right now. I know that according to scripture I’m not supposed to judge others and so for me in some way I feel it is better to abstain then to get involved.

Not sure if it’s conviction, guilt, my own perfectionism but when I’m in church I just feel like crap. There’s no other way to put it. (trust me I struggled to finish that sentence for a few minutes) I sit in that pew or stand during worship and just don’t want to be there. I know that I’ll never be perfect, but right now the last thing I want to do is to go to church to feel that way, I can feel that way all by myself without entering a church.

Someone asked me after my last post “How has this affected my relationship with God? Positively and negatively”. Well obviously not being active in the church can make you feel more distant from God at times and even question whether He is still there and whether or not He still uses you. And although I’m questioning a lot about God and Christianity I believe that God still does use me.

Do I know if I died tonight where I’d spent eternity because of where I’m at in this journey? The answer. No, I don’t, but then again do you? No you don’t, it’s all based on faith and a belief in the Bible, none of us really knows until we die. I think what has been most impacted in my journey is my relationship with other Christians simply because many of them don’t understand me or where I’m a coming from. They want to save me and get me back on track and serving the Lord with all my heart and most of all “get over it.” I tend to stay away from those people, because for the most part there’s nothing they can say that I haven’t already heard and I need to work this out to get to the other side. I know that God knows who I am, where I am at and understands what I’m going through on this journey. He knows what is on the other side and He knows what the future holds and He will judge me in the end. 

As I mentioned in my last post this blog is probably more for me than it will be for others, but knowing that people have/are reading helps me dialogue more. If you are a Christian reading this and your first instinct is to pray for me, I understand that need; please feel free to do so. Believe it or not I appreciate the gesture. Please comment and ask questions, my goal is to be as transparent and as real as possible here and your questions my answering them helps me think things through.

Where To Begin

Well where do I start? I guess I should start off by saying that the purpose of this blog is more for me to put down into words my thoughts and feelings about the church, Christianity and all that surrounds it. I really don’t have a plan for this blog or have any idea where I want it to go. I’m one of those people who often finds it good to talk things out and to verbalize my thoughts and opinions in order to get to a solution or deeper understanding of what is going on.

So by writing this I’m talking things out with myself. If by chance someone is reading this and feels that they want to comment please do so. Although I want to stress that I’m not doing this to be preached at, get into theological debates or hear any of the customary “churchy” stuff. 

I grew up in the church from a very early age and have been to a number of churches, evangelical, traditional churches and “seeker friendly” churches. I’ve been on mission trips to a number of countries. I’ve seen healings and miracles and “signs and wonders”. I’ve been to some of the “big revivals” that North America has seen. So needless to say I have had a very broad “Christian” experience and my ramblings that are going to happen here are from my experiences in the church.

I’m currently not involved in the church for a variety of reasons. And I have had a number of “Christians” try to convince why I need to get re-involved in the church without a real understanding of who I am and why I’m not in the church at this point in time. If you are one of those people I understand where you are coming from, but you also need to understand where I’m coming from as well. Yes, I know that Christians are just people too and that they aren’t perfect. I don’t expect them to be. Heck, I’m not perfect far from it. But to be honest, I’m tired of hearing the same old stuff over-and-over again, quoting scripture and sermons I grew up with. I’ve heard it and to be honest I’ve probably preached it myself a time or two as well. (Yes believe it or not I’ve had the “pleasure” of standing in front of a congregation or two in my day.)

I’m not looking for others to give me the answers here. I’m not “crying out” for help. I’m simply putting my thoughts into words. Yes, I’m going to post my blogs on Facebook and they are open for the world to see, but this is as much for me as it is for anyone else. Maybe someone else will read this and it will help them. I don’t know, but for a while now I’ve had these thoughts going through my head and felt the need to “discuss” them, and in this venue, I can voice my opinion freely.

So, if you’ve made it this far, I hope that you stick around for more posts to come. And, hey, let me know you’ve read this post and leave me a note.