Posts Tagged ‘Ego’

Wandering The Desert

February 11, 2011 3 comments

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, this isn’t a bad thing but it’s not necessarily a good thing either. I’ve found that spending time blogging helps me reflect on God and my spirituality. Being that I’m currently unemployed I have a lot more time on my hands than I did when I was working full time. But it has also been a very humbling time and quite difficult at times. I’ve always relied on God to guide me steps and to open and close the doors as needed, the only difference that in the past I didn’t have a family to support and all the bills that come along with growing up. I’ve been going over a number of different options; do I look for work in my current field, do start all over and go back to school and do something that I’m interested in and completely different, and then all of the options and things that need to be worked out with going back to school.

I’m really in a place where I really have to rely on God and trust and pray that the right doors will open and close. But that’s not always easy is it? It’s never easy when the doors open and open and then close. In fact I find it quite frustrating and sometimes it really gets me down. I believe that God allows things to happen for a reason and that eventually all things will be made clear but I tell you that losing your job twice in one year, going to a number of interviews and not having them work out can be a real shot to the ego and pride.

I wonder if God has me in this place right now so that I can spend some time getting to rely on Him again and to build up my spiritual man. I remember years ago wishing that I could take a sabbatical to focus on God and get deeper into Him. The only difference between now and then is that I was “plugged” into a church and was in a seemingly better place spiritually then than I am now.

I am trusting all things are going to work out, yes, I know what Romans 8:28 says. But right I know I’m honestly wish/wanting God to just say “Eric, this is what I want you to do. This is how I’m going to do it. And this is how it is all going to work out.” But then how would that build up my faith right?

Have you ever been a place where you aren’t sure what lies ahead for you and you just want it all to come together so you can get going? What have you done to get through that time of transition? How have you known that what you were doing was really what God wanted for you?