Posts Tagged ‘God’s Will’

Carpe Diem

April 11, 2011 4 comments

Journey OnI’ve begun to make some changes in my life. Seeking God and really learning to trust Him in all things. I’m learning that this is some much easier said than done. It’s not easy to really give things over to God and to trust that He’s going to see you through. When you read the word of God it all seems so easy, I mean, Jesus in the flesh came up to these men and said “Follow me.” How hard could that be, after all, he was the son of God. But, when the disciples left their jobs and their livings to follow Jesus, they didn’t have the whole story, the Bible wasn’t written and they didn’t know where and how things were going to end up. I wonder what their parents, friends and family thought? It took a step of faith. When Peter stepped out of the boat, I’m sure it didn’t make sense to the rest of the men in the boat.

I suppose part of stepping out in faith is to not look towards man and to be concerned about what others say and think but to keep your eyes of God and know that you are doing what He has called you to. I think that is part of my “fear” right now, knowing that the decisions I make moving forward are really God and Spirit led. I’m new to this, I’ve always been able to do the “will of God” for my life with a safety net and just “walk through the open doors” and trust that those that closed, closed for a reason.

At times I wonder why God allows some of us to go through times of testing and yet others seem to coast through it all. It doesn’t seem fair, but as I think more about it, it’s during times of trials and tribulations that you really get to know who you are but also that will test a friendship and relationship. As difficult as this time may be in the end, I have to trust that God is directing my steps and making my path known.

I know that one day I will look back on this time in my life and it will all make sense. It may not be easy now and I may not know how things are going to end, but the even though I don’t know how things will work out, I know that God will see me through.


Stepping Out In Faith

March 13, 2011 2 comments

Westminster AbeyThey say that in the road to recovery you have to first admit that you are powerless over whatever it is that is plaguing you or causing your life to be unmanageable. Well, I think I’m prepared to admit that, I think I already have. I’m affraid and I am/have allowed fear to dictate how I am living my life.

I struggle at times about the existence of God. Although I may doubt Him, I cannot deny him. I know that may seem strange to some people, but it’s where I’m at. One of the things that I am learning more lately as I blog and I’m in this place, is that I need to rely on Him more and more to see me through. None of this is really all that new to me in theory. We all know that we need to rely on God and to trust Him. But do we really trust God and rely on Him?

As a child growing up we went through a long peroid of time where we relied on God as a family to provide our needs. Where we prayed and believed God to supply our needs, all of them, and God provided miraculously time and time again. During that time we never lacked for anything, at least anything that I can remember. We saw signs and wonders and I had the faith of a child that faith that believed that “with God all things are possible” – Mathew 19:26. Thinking of those times stirs the “spirit man” in me. That part of me that has been lying dormant for some time now, but is reawakening.

In the last year-and-a-bit after having lost two jobs in six months I’ve heard many people say to me; “everything happens for a reason;” “don’t worry it will all work out,” “trust God, He’ll make a way.” As I begin to look back on that part of my journey I can see how God’s hand has been at play. I am beginning to believe that God has brought me to this place so that I can once again rely on Him to be my provider, to trust in Him again, to guide my steps, to bring me to that place where He wants me. At this moment, that place is here, a place where I’m dialoguing about what I’m living and what I’m going through spiritually.  I honestly believe that if it weren’t for my job losses I wouldn’t be in this place.

It’s not easy, but God never gives us more than we can handle, because when it starts to get rough and it starts to get difficult, those are the times of growth and the times where we need to press into God more to gives us the strength to see us through. Sometimes we need to broken in order to be made whole again. And although I wouldn’t say that I’m broken right now, I am at that place where I’m willing to say: “God; I need you to get me through this, I need to rely on you, trust you and seek your will for my life.”

Today is the start of a brand new day, I can’t change yesterday, I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but today I’m going to go after God. I’m going to seek Him and His will for today. Yes, I know I may stumble, yes, I’m scared out of my mind and the statements I’m making, but I know that I have to put a stake and the ground and get going.

As I was writing the last little bit I remembered how Peter had to have faith to step out of the boat to walk on water. So I went and looked up that passage in the Bible. And, it spoke to me more than just that little bit that I had remembered. In the passage Jesus walks out to meet the disciples in their boat and they are afraid.  Here’s what it says:

Jesus said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

“Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” – Matthew 14:28-31

So, basically what I got out of that is this – “Eric, if you are going to go after God, put your eyes on Him, trust in Him and don’t let the obstacles that surround you pull you down. I’ve given you the faith to believe in signs and wonders and in the miraculous, keep your eyes on me and I will see you through.”

I’m chuckling to myself right now because I had no idea where I was going when I first started blogging back in December. Isn’t it funny how God works?

Wandering The Desert

February 11, 2011 3 comments

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, this isn’t a bad thing but it’s not necessarily a good thing either. I’ve found that spending time blogging helps me reflect on God and my spirituality. Being that I’m currently unemployed I have a lot more time on my hands than I did when I was working full time. But it has also been a very humbling time and quite difficult at times. I’ve always relied on God to guide me steps and to open and close the doors as needed, the only difference that in the past I didn’t have a family to support and all the bills that come along with growing up. I’ve been going over a number of different options; do I look for work in my current field, do start all over and go back to school and do something that I’m interested in and completely different, and then all of the options and things that need to be worked out with going back to school.

I’m really in a place where I really have to rely on God and trust and pray that the right doors will open and close. But that’s not always easy is it? It’s never easy when the doors open and open and then close. In fact I find it quite frustrating and sometimes it really gets me down. I believe that God allows things to happen for a reason and that eventually all things will be made clear but I tell you that losing your job twice in one year, going to a number of interviews and not having them work out can be a real shot to the ego and pride.

I wonder if God has me in this place right now so that I can spend some time getting to rely on Him again and to build up my spiritual man. I remember years ago wishing that I could take a sabbatical to focus on God and get deeper into Him. The only difference between now and then is that I was “plugged” into a church and was in a seemingly better place spiritually then than I am now.

I am trusting all things are going to work out, yes, I know what Romans 8:28 says. But right I know I’m honestly wish/wanting God to just say “Eric, this is what I want you to do. This is how I’m going to do it. And this is how it is all going to work out.” But then how would that build up my faith right?

Have you ever been a place where you aren’t sure what lies ahead for you and you just want it all to come together so you can get going? What have you done to get through that time of transition? How have you known that what you were doing was really what God wanted for you?

God, Prayer & Me

January 11, 2011 2 comments

Do you ever pray for something ask that God’s will be done and then when the answer to your prayer is different that what you wanted are mad at God? I’m sure we’ve all done it at some point in our lives, I know I have. I think I’ve given up asking God for things. I still pray but I don’t think I’ve asked him for anything specific in a long time. If and when I do pray lately (which hasn’t been to often) I ask Him for will to be done. As I write this I wonder if that it is because I’ve been so distant that I don’t think I have the right to pray and ask God for things. I know in my head and probably my heart that if I call on Him and turn to Him that He will be there. But I just feel like that’s not fair to Him. I think to me my relationship with God is almost like an abusive friendship. You know the one where your friend is only friends with you when someone esle isn’t around or when it’s convenient for you. I don’t want that relationship with God and I’ve had it for far to long. I’m an all or nothing kind of person and right now I’m not sure I can go to God until I’m ready to give it all to Him.